“What do you like the most about me?”
“Well that’s a really hard question.”
“Come on. Just answer it”
“Well, I mean, I really like you. And I really love your laugh.”
She always hated how her laugh sounds and that is the first time in her life that made her actually, like really actually appreciate how good her laugh sounds.
This entry is all about that special guy. Special guy that no matter what happens, he will always be THAT special guy.
He was the best thing I never had…
…and will never have.
So… here goes nothing.
I met him exactly three weeks and 5 days ago… but when I talk to him, it feels like years. It feels like I’ve known him all my life. Even if we don’t talk about anything at times, I’m still so comfortable around him.
I don’t know if he feels the same way.
But I hope he does.
What we had was something that I will never regret. He got me out of my shell and I am more confident about myself now. Because of him, I have the motivation and hunger to travel the world someday.
He’s now on the other side of the world, but like what they say, some memories just stick in your bones. Just like salt in the sea. It becomes part of you. What we had was special. What we had was one of the best moments happened to me.
He will always have a special place in my heart. Even not as the guy who I’ll spend my entire life with, but as that special guy that made me feel special and worthy. The guy that made me realise I need to see more of the world. That I need to get out of my shell and this prison so I can be a better version of myself. So I can run wild and free. Away from my insecurities and all the things that’s stopping me from doing the things I love the most.
I can’t even remember the last time I felt so happy before because it’s been so long now. But today… it’s different. I felt that real happiness again. He made me feel what happy feels like. Even it’s just a tiny bit of time.
I feel so safe and so important when I’m around him. When his arms are around me, when he hugs me, when he kisses my forehead and when he holds my hand. I just, feel so safe. And yes… we kissed. I don’t know what that means. We didn’t say that we loved each other. He just told me that he liked me. But that “like” means so much things. Maybe he likes me as a person, or as a friend. I will never know. We’ve never talked about relationships. I don’t know what we are. All I know is he made me really special.
Thinking about him gives me so much pain and happiness at the same time. Happiness because of the memories we’ve made. Very special ones. And pain because of the thought that I’m never gonna see him again. He would eventually forget about me and meet new people. Because that’s life. And life’s unfair.
But I’m still hoping that, that simple handkerchief with an embroidery of his name will make him remember me.
Now, I’m missing a piece of me that’s on the other side of the world. I am missing a piece of me and I am not sure if I am able to get it back in the puzzle of my life again.
But I’m not going to stop hoping. I still believe in destiny.
If we’re meant to be, destiny will find a way. WE, will find a way back to each other. Maybe not now, not next day, not next month, not next year, BUT SOMEDAY. When the time is right. And our hearts will be both ready, even we’re so many miles away from each other. Nothing is impossible right?
And if we’re not meant to be, then maybe we’re better off as friends. Maybe there’s someone better. Maybe there’s someone else for me. Maybe he just came to my life for me to realise how beautiful this life is and how worthy I am as a person.
Despite that, whatever happens to the both of us, he will always, like always… always, have a SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART.
I hope you are happy with your life and I hope you find someone you’ll truly, truly love with all your heart.
I’m not going to find love anymore. I’m just going to wait for it, patiently. Because like what they say, “Good things come to those who wait.”
So much love,