You know what’s funny? It’s people telling me that they will always be there for you and that you are not alone. The truth is, I WILL ALWAYS BE ALONE.
I had a dinner with my officemates last night and I was trying my best to be okay but in the end of the night, I accepted the fact that I AM NOT OKAY. They told me they don’t have enough diesel anymore to drop me off my house so I told them to just drop me off the highway and I’ll just commute.
The result is, I did not commute. I walked home because I don’t feel like going home at that time. I was walking alone and I realized how lonely I am in this city.
I called my friends here, the first one told me she’s with her sisters and friends. I didn’t want to cry and open up with people I didn’t know. The next one is at a relative’s party. I didn’t want to spoil her happiness. The third one is finishing her papers due tomorrow. The last one to answer my call was with his friends too. The others, they didn’t answer my call.
The only people who were willing to spend their time with me that night were my college friends. They asked me where I am and they’ll go to me. The problem is, I am 790.4 kilometers away from them. And at that moment, I wish I could just fly from here all the way to Metro Manila so I could be with them.
Last night I really want to get hit by a car but thanks to one of my college friends, she answered my call.
That night, I just want someone to talk to, but I can’t talk to anyone here besides my college friends.
They might be far away from me, but I always feel their presence here in my heart.